Srini Says


SONY DSCWhen Valerio asked me to do this column, I was rather hesitant for 2 reasons:
1. I have no idea what to say (that’s a first, am I right?)

2. I thought people heard me talk enough.

So, since I am probably just as confused about this column as you are, I figured it was best to make this first one an introduction about myself – a list of what you’ll find me thinking about on a daily basis should do the job. In the words of Kanye West, “let me show you what I see when my eyes closed”:

  1. Chocolate is one of the greater things in my life.
  2. Why do I attempt to be athletic? Endorphins are usually not worth the pain of cross country.
  3. Birds: Why are there so many of them? How did so many of them get here and why are they so unattractive?
  4. Squirrels – See #3
  5. Why are preteens allowed to blog? There should be an minimum age requirement to post on the internet.
  6. Are Chinese gymnasts real? I seriously don’t get how they’re possible.
  7. Breakfast tacos at school are unbelievable
  8. ….the biscuits are too. I sometimes have trouble deciding which one I should get.
  9. So I get both.
  10. Why is Waka Flocka Flame a person?
  11. I wish I could Instagram my school pictures so they’d look… hmm I don’t know, maybe not ugly.
  12. I very much dislike parking in Caven.
  13. Maybe somehow I am related to Aziz Ansari.
  14. I have fallen asleep three times so far while reading USAP. Thank God I only have 20 more pages to go.
  15. Celia Lewis and Vamsi Mohan have enjoyable tweets.

…. I’m going to stop there. I hope from that, you got a little bit of a taste of my personality. Now, onto my opinions on pop culture right now– which, by the way, is what this column is essentially going to be.

Right now, I am a big fan of female rappers. Now, of course I’m sure that comes as a huge surprise to all of you, but in all actuality there is something about them that is captivating. Although I really want to say Kreayshawn is my favorite rapper, I must say my favorite thing about her is that “Kreayshawn” is a distorted spelling of “creation.” My favorite female rappers right now are Azaelia Banks and Alyssa Marie, a freestyle rapper on Youtube. Not only do these girls have swag, but they also have some solid rapping lines. Of course none as intelligent as Nas’ line “I go by N now- just one syllable”, but they’re up there. One of my favorites by Alyssa Marie: “rappers say they ill, all I see is a bunch of hypochondriacs.” Definitely check them out, but they may create an unyielding desire in you to become a rapper… you’ve been warned.

All in all, I look forward to providing y’all with 300 words of necessary insight and comical relief every month. Hope y’all enjoyed my first Srini Says column.

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